It's been a while and I think I don't have motivation to write something here except for telling my sad story lol. I think I'm just too lazy to write because I have to think quite deeper and sometimes it's kinda tiring.
It's already 2020 and I never think time can runs this fast. I can remember it feels like yesterday I wrote about 30 days challenge but turns out it's already 5 years. That day when I stressed out being a full time jobless person and now I can't barely manage my time because I kinda enjoy working overtime.
Well, as we all know this year is kinda depressing because this pandemic and we have to stay at home in a quite long time. I've been working at home for about 3 months and keep counting. I also postpone my trip to Korea, a bit sad at first but there's nothing I can do. I think it's not only me feeling the same way.
As I recall 2019 is kinda stressful with super anxiety and also depressing for me. Fortunately this year I feel a lil bit calmer, and less anxiety. First I decided to take a very extreme way to get over this anxiety by leaving my very close friend. What is the point of living a life with full of fear and feeling sad all the time. I kinda disappointed with my friend and I can't tolerate that for sure. What made me angry I really hate someone who plays victim. I keep quiet after all these time because I'm afraid I have no friend and living alone. But now I kinda don't care anymore.
The best thing I can do right now is to enjoy my present life, I don't wanna think too much how would it be like in the future. Also I tried to not rush things. I always wanted to continue my degree because people at my age usually already has master degree while me still diploma. I plan to start the college this year but I think I have to postpone again because this hard situation. So I just tell myself it's okay to late as long as I enjoy my life and keep doing my best. I wanna remember my time with lot of beautiful memory not a depressing one.
Like what Seokjin said to keep at our own pace, don't try to follow others because it can make us breathless. Just do it step by step.